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Wednesday, March 30, 2011

PYHO: Almost was


It's not as though we were trying. We were not trying not to either. I thought I might be, just maybe. I counted the days, did the calculations and there was a possibility, a pretty big one. When I was a few days late, I thought for sure. I bought a test and anxiously awaited the results.... Negative. I was confused. Not what I expected.

Several days later, still no sign. What's taking so long? I thought, maybe there is a possibility the test was wrong. I was for sure again, excited at the thought.

This morning, 9 days late, it came.

It's not like we were trying, but the thought excited me. It made me feel alive and I wanted it. I really wanted it. The past several months we have not, not been trying. I'm beginning to think this is not possible for me any more. I've had past miscarries. That thought scares me, I want more children! Lots more children, and I want to have one in the very near future.

I thought maybe. I got excited. Not this month I guess.

9 comments:

  1. I totally understand how you feel. I've had a miscarriage, and the waiting and wondering is the worst. I wish you the best of luck. Keep us posted.

    Found yu through PYHO.

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  2. It took me almost two years to conceive my Jellybean and seeing those negative tests month after month was heartbreaking. I truly hope you get your wish soon and hang in there!

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  3. So sorry to hear this. I know how that feels even when you're not trying. Hang in there, it will happen.

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  4. I am sorry you weren't hun. I know saying it will happen at the right time doesn't help either. hoping you will have your answer you want soon.

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  5. Sending you prayers and baby dust that it will be another month!

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  6. I have so been there! That is how I figured out I was ready for my second. Best of luck to you!

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  7. It's such a rough process! We went through a lot of the same with our daughter. Sending lots of positive thoughts & lots of baby dust your way!

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  8. I can so relate! I was like this before every pregnancy - I've had 3. Almost obsessed...counting...waiting... It will happen. Continue to have faith.

    Came to you through Shell and PYHO.

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  9. Wishing you the best and sending good thoughts your way!

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