At first, I thought I was just terrified to go back to work. I got a sick feeling in my gut the days following the official offer letter. It had been two years since I worked full time in a serious career and I feared, I lack the drive and motivation I once had. I question my decision over and over and only began to doubt more when we went looking at daycares.
"Is this the right decision?" I don't know. What I do know is that we are coming to the end of the wick and if circumstances didn't change, I feared where we would be then. I'm tired of struggling and worrying about our old cars and all the problems. I had hoped I could stay at home until our kids were in school, but it doesn't look that way and I am disappointed.
When it comes down to it, that is what has given me the uneasy nerves. I almost feel as if I failed at "our" plan.
The funny thing is this job opportunity is amazing and I didn't even dream of these benefits or salary they have offered me. I have been extremely lucky and blessed with this great new circumstance but my own selfishness has gotten in the way. I hope this doesn't prevent me from succeeding.
As of this Monday, I will officially be a working Mom. Things are about to change, I just hope I don't miss it too much.
Linking up for Pour Your Heart Out with Shell from Things I Can't Say